30 Down. 10 To Go.
August 29th, 2011

30 weeks down.  10 to go.

75% there.

Glass three-quarters full.

Six months and three weeks along.

Two and a half months left.

All of those things are true about my pregnancy today.  But only one of them makes me feel like I’m really getting closer to my due date.  I’ve been pregnant for 30 weeks.  I have only ten weeks left.  That feels like an accomplishment.  Every other version of the same math leaves me feeling as though the end is still not in sight.  So I’m focusing on the first countdown method, because I find myself needing a little pick-me-up in the attitude department.

I should be honest here.  Pregnancy is pretty easy on me.  Other than third trimester heartburn (which mercifully hasn’t set in yet), I get virtually none of the miserable side effects that often come with pregnancy.  I am keeping up with my usual routine, and while I’ve had to dial back the intensity level of a few things, for the most part I feel pretty normal.  So I feel a bit selfish admitting that I’m counting down the weeks to delivery, because I know I could have it a lot worse.  Nevertheless, I miss feeling like my old self.

Wishing these last few weeks away could be dangerous, though.  These are IEP’s last weeks of being an only child.  They are my last weeks of having only one little boy who needs me.  My last weeks of being able to devote myself entirely to him.  GAP’s and my last weeks of outnumbering our children.  Whether or not we are ready, big changes are coming and I would be remiss not to stop and cherish the life that we have had and loved for the past nearly-three years.

I’ve remarked to GAP many times recently that I never imagined that parenthood would be this much fun.  I thought I would enjoy it, but I have been surprised and delighted at how truly fun it is.  I believe that adding to our family will only add to that level of fun.  I will find joy in watching IEP take up the mantle of brotherhood.  I will get to be tickled all over again with the many milestones of the first couple of years.  And I will be able to look around at my life, never having envisioned myself as the mother of two boys, and recognize how much I love it and how well it suits me.

However, there is much about my life as it is that I love.  Aspects of that life are going to end, and I’m struggling with that.  From this vantage point I can easily see what I will lose when our second son is born this fall.  But I can’t yet see all that I will gain.  So I am left to take it on faith, to trust, and to believe, that what I give up will be outweighed by what I gain.  After all, it was because we are so head over heels in love with IEP that we wanted to have another child.  I know it will be hard for a while.  I know we will be in over our heads.  I know that there will be stress and hormones and tears.  But I also know that the moment my second little boy is born I won’t ever again be able to imagine my life without him.

8 Responses to “30 Down. 10 To Go.”

  1. Aidan Donnelley Rowley @ Ivy League Insecurities Says:

    30 weeks! So exciting! That little guy will be here before you know it. Trust me :) And you are right – You won’t be able to imagine life without him! Feel good.


  2. Ana Says:

    Yes! I only have 5 weeks to go (can’t believe it), and as miserable as I am during pregnancy, I am trying to not wish away these last few weeks as a family of 3 and being able to focus my full attention on my first little guy. I like your positive take on it, I’ve been too inundated with the negatives of having two (“its not twice as much work as 1, its four times…”, etc…) and anecdotes about sibling rivalry and jealousy, regressive behavior, etc… (my son is only 20 months now, so no doubt some of this WILL happen, but still!) Its hard to keep in mind that a) we WANTED to have another child and b) it is truly a joyous occasion. I’m glad you’re feeling good, and hope the heartburn doesn’t get you this time.

  3. BigLittleWolf Says:

    So excited for you! You’re in that final stretch. (And yes, it is fun. Even as they get older.)

  4. TheKitchenWitch Says:

    You look great, kid! I can’t wait to meet baby #2!

  5. anne Says:

    I can imagine so many mixed feelings. But a year from now, you’ll probably look at GAP and say, “can you imagine life without both of them??” Savor the last weeks, and all my good wishes coming your way.

  6. Kate Says:

    The time with just one is precious, and two is a shift. But for me, it wasn’t as seismic as having one. That changed my whole life. Two, well, it’s more, and it’s different but mostly I feel more steady in my role as a mom, more prepared for the ups and downs of the journey. The first few months for me with two were pure magic. Even with the exhaustion, the world felt gloriously narrow, my focus so acute on what mattered in each moment. That’s really all you can do. I was lucky that those last few weeks of my second pregnancy were so busy I couldn’t fret.
    Now, I’m having similar fears though about going to three. Oh, how will I ever do it? But you do what you need to.

  7. Rebecca Says:

    Best wishes for a savory and comfy last 10 weeks!

  8. Shelby Says:

    Gale — Again, I’m late in reading this post…but when I did I was struck by what you said about IEP’s last weeks as an only child. Another blogger I follow, Nicole Balch at Making It Lovely, celebrated her daughter’s last few weeks as an only child with a photo and a few sentences (caption) marking small bits of happiness each day. You can read about it at: http://makingitlovely.com/the-4-6-weeks-project/.