Symmetry August 30th, 2012
My baby hit double digits recently. He’s now ten months old. A strange milestone, perhaps (past nine months, but not yet a year), but one that resonates with me.
When IEP turned 10 months it was right after my birthday, and just before my sister’s one year anniversary. I spent that day filled with memories of what my life had been like one year prior – 7 months pregnant, having a low-key Chinese dinner with GAP to celebrate my birthday, and being the sole bridesmaid in my sister’s beautiful wedding. I was struck by how vastly different my life had become in the course of a year.
Now SSP has crossed that threshold and again I am haunted by a certain nostalgia, although of a slightly different nature.
Yes, I have paused to reflect on how much things have changed in a year – we just returned from the same Colorado vacation that we took last year and this time I carried SSP in a backpack for the exact same hike on which last summer I carried him inside me. But more than that I am struck by how I am walking back through the tracks I created three years ago. Two boys. Both autumn babies. Hitting the same milestones at the same times of year.
SSP wears the same pajamas that his brother wore. He sleeps in the same position. He plays the same games and does the same baby tricks. His birthday is three weeks earlier in the year than his brother’s, so his milestones sometime sneak up on me. I catch myself thinking, “You’re not supposed to do that until next month.” But he does them in his own time, just like IEP did. I shouldn’t be surprised, though, because I’ve learned by now that all these things repeat themselves.
Still, sometimes the symmetry of it all is just too much to bear.